Lord, these precious dreams and desires, how cruelly you planted them within me, allowed me but a glimpse of them, a sweet passing embrace, then stripped me of them. How you slay me day and night. My tears puddle beneath me and I can see no light. Strip my mind of the sweet desires, the longings unfulfilled. You tell me that hope deferred makes the heart sick, yet I hoped again, what a foolish child.
So take my hope, have it now. I will not dare to hope again. You ask that one die to self and this hope crept back in. It came in a door I had not locked, and made itself a home. Oh damned hope, it is a cruel game to get another day’s labor. The carrot to the mule; I have played the mule, the ass, once more. I wish to grieve the death of hope and allow it to remain entombed. Harm me no more, the bitter beauty of hope deferred. Oh longing fulfilled, your tree of life a mirage I can bear no more.
So hear my pleas, oh Lord, amputate the arm of hope that reaches for more. Make me lame and simple where my heart will bleed no more.
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